This weekend I had a big AAAHA moment while I was instructing.
Before I tell you the (BFO) "blinding flash of the obvious" that I had, I want to thank all those who have given me the opportunity to continue my journey of learning by sharing what I have already experienced through clinics and private lessons.
Every time I get to teach what I have already discovered, I also learn new things about myself, about horses, and about people. I couldn't have a more fascinating and satisfying job.
This is what Cisco taught me!
NEVER EVER KNOCK THE CURIOSITY OUT OF THE HORSE,
ALWAYS GIVE YOUR HORSE THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE A HORSE,
ALLOW YOURSELF PERMISSION TO TAKE THE TIME IT TAKES,
MAKING DEPOSITS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP ACCOUNT CAN BE A VERY SIMPLE THING.
As you read those things you are probably saying, oh Sherry, you already knew those things. We've heard you preach them before. Yes, but did I always practice what I would preach at each opportunity that was presented to me? Did it really sink in to the point that I could actually apply the principle no matter what? Could I really put my horse first above my agenda?
Here is the scenario. I was about to demonstrate some fancy move, like changing directions on a circle with fluidity with Cisco.
About the time that I was preparing to ask him my husband came driving up the driveway in our truck and trailer. Well Cisco could see it out the far door of the arena and of course he could hear the diesel engine long before he could even see it.
His curiosity perked him right up, and I totally lost his attention. His ears, eyes, and whole body were totally focused on his truck and trailer arriving. I gently reach for his nose to porcupine him back to look at me, and he gave so sweetly and softly, but the second I released he snapped back to his own agenda. I repeated my actions one more time, and I got the same results.
At that moment I thought about all the principles that I have been preaching, and I realized that even though the students were waiting to see the demonstration that there was a much more important and pressing matter at hand.
Was I willing to sacrifice my time, and my agenda to do the right thing for my horse, or was I going to rudely interrupt his curiosity, and force him to go on when he was obviously for a moment in his horse world, not my human world.
In the past, I can tell you that I would have went on with my agenda, because I always feel so pressed for time at a clinic to present as much to the students as possible so that they go home feeling like they really got their money's worth. There is just so much to share and so little time.
But this time was different! I realized that it was time for me to really take the time it takes and not worry about what others were thinking or waiting for.
I am so glad that I did, because when I did one of the students commented that she recognized that I had just made a huge deposit in our relationship account. What a blessing!
So here's what I did! I said to the students, Cisco is obviously distracted right now by his truck and trailer. So what's the big deal, we can just let him stand here until he is ready to move on. So let's just wait and see what happens.
As I was standing there waiting, I was thinking in my head, "Cisco must be wondering why his trailer is coming back, where did it go, when did it leave, did Keith go get one of my buddies at home, am I going home now?
After Keith shut the engine off and walked toward the door, Cisco turned his attention back to me as if to say ok I'm ready now Mom thanks for waiting for me. He performed the change of direction on the circle beautifully and fluidly, just like a pro, with ease and most importantly with a willing heart!
It was a very simple thing and it only took a couple of minutes, but is was a tremendous lesson that was so much more important than a change of direction on a circle.
When we can truly remove our own agendas, allow our horses to really be horses, quit expecting them to act and think like us, encourage their curiosity, give ourselves permission to take the time it takes, and recognize the simplest things can sometimes be the most important in a relationship then we are on a path that will lead to having a horse who is willing and wants to perform for us. Resistance, fear, and frustration will eventually become a thing of the past!
Happy Trails,
Sherry
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